Coniston's old man
Gets walked all over by folk
Wearing hiking boots.

Night in the Lakes

The wind uproots
Our tent at stormy midnight
Retreat to the van!

Garden Punishment

Stapled by my ears
Blood drips down the fat oak's trunk
Nourishing its roots

What a Wonderful World It Would Be

Knuckle down our Sam
Behave well and stay in school
Stop chasing jailbait

We lost the pub quiz.
Take That's "Hairy Ballbag Girl"
is not a real song


by Will

Bargain Kitchenware

One bloodied cleaver,
Must be sold by end of day,
One careless owner.

Nostril hairiness -
I'm permanently tickled,
Not in a fun way.

Frightful Images

Sunken eyeball holes
Vision heading for cover
And effective death

A great man once said:
"Follow your heart's desire...
Oxygen, sugar."

Friday Night VIII

Last night in heaven
No longer an imposter
Too little too late

(Sleep) Deprived Child

Bed-bugs lingering
Gorging themselves on my vim
Vigour on the wane

Insect Gait

Big man, small trousers
Reduced bloodflow, withered pins
Strides like a mantis

Make up your morals -
When your country starts a war,
Stop paying taxes.

Crisis Meeting

When these things happen
Discussion is redundant
We need explosions

3rd Month Haiku

Mad as the March Hair
Good hare months come rare as love
Love between species

Almost all my thoughts
Concern the physical self
Eating, shagging, etc.